We’ve come the last and final devotional from our series entitled “I’m a Creep.” (Check out Part I and Part II on the blog). We’ve ventured through unusual fits, feeling like we don’t belong, and now we are tasked with exploring our desire to feel special.
Aiken to our innate need to belong, we have a desire to be noticed … to be seen … to be acknowledged. Like the lyrics in “Creep,” we want to feel special. We want to matter, especially to those we know and love. Due to social media, this desire is enhanced significantly. We crave likes, shares, #repost, comments, views, followers, friends, and connections. The creators and acquirers of social media platforms take advantage of this craving by offering certain users increased levels of access, and even payment, based on the number of views or followers they have. This birthed the world of “social media influencers,” users who have established credibility in a specific industry, has access to a huge audience, and can persuade others to act based on their recommendations.
Bottom line is that we all have a need to feel special. It is not the need that is dysfunctional; it is how we go about getting the need met that can be either dysfunctional or healthy. It is dysfunctional when we make others responsible for making us feel special (Dr. Margaret Paul, “The Need to Feel Special”). Simply put, you’re special because you’re made in God’s image … Periodt! When others must give us attention, compliment us, seek us out, and attend to our wants and needs for us to feel special, it is unhealthy and inhibits us from fulfilling destiny. You don’t need anyone’s approval or validation to be your authentic self. The person stopping you from being you all you can be may just be you … the person in the mirror.
Think about it, how many times have you said, “I just want [insert person’s name] to notice me.” We want to be noticed by others when we are in their presence and absent from their presence. For example, a relationship ends, and you post a plethora of photos highlighting how you are living your best life, toning your body, and having so much fun all so that ex-spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, etc. would notice you. In conversations to which we were not a party, it’s common to hear the question, did so-in-so say anything about me? We change our behavior to attract and be accepted into specific social groups, environments, and networks. So, it’s only natural for this desire to be noticed and feel special to lead to the “C” word: COMPARISON.
We spend a great deal of time comparing ourselves to others to determine how well we fit in. This social comparison might lead us to adopt behaviors and attitudes of others to conform and gain greater acceptance. We engage in actions that we don’t like, and are contrary to our values and purpose, just to b, comments, views, followers, friends, and connections. The creators and acquirers of social media platforms take advantage of this craving by offering certain users increased levels of access, and even payment, based on the number of views or followers they have. This birthed the world of “social media influencers,” users who have established credibility in a specific industry, has access to a huge audience, and can persuade others to act based on their recommendations.
Video: Brad Wagner
Audio: Bob Mallory
*** I do not own the rights to this music ***
Singer and songwriter, Johnathan McReynolds has a song entitled “Comparison Kills.” In the song, McReynold's sings, “The grass was fine, Until it looked greener on the other side, Now you're believing that you fell behind, But why try to match what should be one of a kind, You're one of a kind.” Many times, we feel great about our lives, accomplishments, goals, and skills until we see someone else who has more. Then we begin the comparison game. You thought you were special until you encountered someone who seemed to be more special than you. Diving deeper, you really feel that this person is better than you … that their life, the body, their accomplishments, goals, status, family, marriage, relationships, etc. is better than yours. Their grass may look so much greener than yours, but most times, we are basing these false assumptions on surface information. People naturally present the best versions of their lives to others, especially on social media. Some just flat out lie and present a completely false narrative of their life. You really have no clue what someone else is going through, or what it took for them to get to that place of joy or happiness. Comparing ourselves to others that we know little to nothing about, aside from what they portray to us, is a remedy for disaster.
Newsflash: whomever you are admiring is not more special than you. I would even suggest that you only feel that way because you are using society’s standards (money, beauty, power, prestige, possessions, skills, influence, and so forth) as a measuring stick. God does not love you because you’re “special.” God loves you because you are you. You are special because God loves you. You did not have to do anything to earn God’s love and there is NOTHING you can do to make God stop loving you.
YOU are one of a kind. There is NO ONE like you. Even if you’re twin, triplet, quadruplet, etc. you are still one of a kind. No one has your identical DNA, personality, gifts, purpose, destiny, or quirks. Even on their best day, NO ONE can be you. That’s something to celebrate. You are amazing, and beautifully and wonderfully made. Your purpose was specifically crafted and designed just for you. So, it’s funny when people make statements like, “you’ll never find anyone like me” because it’s true. Most times, in those cases, we’re not trying to find someone like whoever made the statement (LOL).
Every time you say, “I wish I was special,” God is saying right back to you: YOU ARE SPECIAL. However, our habit of comparison and our focus on what we seem to lack drowns out God’s voice. You are more valuable than many sparrows to God (Matthew 10:29-31). You are so valuable to God that He sent His only Son to die on a cross for so you can have a direct relationship with Him (John 3:16). Worldly self-esteem bases your worth on appearance, possessions, and accomplishments. God values you because of who you are (you were made in His image). So yes, you are incredibly special. Walk, talk, breathe, and live like someone who is valued by God.
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