Happy Manna Monday!!! We are starting a new series entitled Identity Crisis. This week we will cover Part I: “Who Are You?” How would you respond if someone asked: Who are you? You are not your circumstances. You are greater than you think you are.
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If you would much rather read the devotional instead of watching the YouTube video, you can check it out in written form below:
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Part I - Who Are You?
Chadwick Boseman’s death prompted me to reflect on life. I stumbled upon this quote from a 2014 GQ interview with Boseman. When asked what he did right and did wrong as a stage director and playwright, Boseman responded, in part:
“I said yes too much. I said yes to certain projects that weren't for me. It was somebody else's vision and somebody else's dream and somebody else's artistic endeavor, but it didn't necessarily fit in my grand scheme.”
This quote resonated with me. How many of us are guilty of saying yes too much? How many of us are guilty of buying into someone else’s vision and dream for us, whether it’s society’s, our family’s, or our profession’s? Are you living a life that does not necessarily fit in the grand scheme of your purpose?
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really want to know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Because I really want to know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
How would you respond if someone asked: Who are you? Some may respond by saying I’m the mother, father, wife, husband, son, or daughter. Some may respond by stating their position title. Some may respond by emphasizing their race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. Some may respond by stating their economic class, status, or struggles. However, those things do not define who you are.
Who am I? If you would ask me that question in my childhood years, I would have said I’m a stutterer. Growing up I had a horrible studder. I excelled academically, but did all I could to avoid public speaking because I didn’t want others to make fun of my stuttering. In fact, I detested my stutter and felt inferior whenever I opened my mouth to speak. Needless to say, I stayed quiet and only spoke when absolutely necessary or forced. I didn’t understand that God wanted to use my voice, my speech, my words as a light.
Little did I know that God would use what I viewed as a handicap and a curse to show me how His strength is made perfect in my weakness. As I continue to develop my relationship with God, I learn more about who I am. I transitioned from a stuttering little girl afraid to speak to speaking in rooms with top rank executives, on panels, facilitating small groups and Bible studies, all because of God’s grace. Today, I accept my stutter as a part of me, but it does not define me. I love as it is a reminder of what God can do in my life and the life of others. I wouldn’t be speaking to you right now if I allowed my circumstances to stop my destiny.
I’m still on the journey to discover my authentic self. However, my answer to the question “who are you?” as a 36 years young adult is different than my answer as a child or when I was in my 20s. My answer to that question is constantly evolving, as I am constantly evolving. We are a combination of so many things. To those in the professional world, I’m LaChandra. To my close friends and acquaintances, I’m Chan. To my family, I’m a nickname that will not be revealed. LOL
Who are you? As you develop your relationship with God, you learn more about who you are. You were made with a purpose … a destiny. The creator of that purpose and destiny can tell you more about you than you can tell yourself. Sometimes that means reading the bible, praying, and fellowshipping with others. Sometimes it may require a deeper dive like counseling and therapy to delve into those areas that may be too painful to address or that we may be blind to. Either way, it requires action on our part.
Regardless of where you are in your journey, please know and understand that no one has to give you permission to be yourself. Some of you are waiting on approval from family, friends, colleagues, society, or your partner to be unapologetically you. Newsflash the only person who must give you permission to be yourself is YOU. In the lovely words of Maya Angelou, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” When we choose to hide our true selves, we deny ourselves the opportunity to grow in the amazing purpose God has for us.
We place too much emphasis on other people’s opinions and approval. We answer questions based on what we think people want to hear and based on the identity we project to others. We have a tendency to modify who we are and curtail our gifts and talents to fit in and impress people. When you assimilate, you lose a sense of self. You lose the parts of you that were the “original you,” the stronger parts of your identity and what made you unique and whole. And before you know it, you’re a totally different version of yourself – watered down, less happy, more anxious, and constantly questioning your abilities.
Funny thing is that we want to be this watered-down version of ourselves, but want God to give us the fullness of all He has for us. To receive the fullness of all God has we have to walk in the authenticity of who we are.
So, you may be saying, I don’t know who I am. First off, you were made in the image of greatness. You can start the process by ascertaining your values since our values affect our judgments about how we view ourselves and others. What you believe is greater than what you see. Also, we must disconnect from “false” identities to gain the freedom of who we really are.
Dr. Matt James in the article “Who are You?” states: “As human beings, we are quick to identify ourselves using our circumstances, how others perceive us, our behaviors, or our positions in life. It’s somehow comforting to clothe ourselves in these identities. But none of those are really who we are. And the problem with latching onto these identities is, in addition to limiting our growth, it leaves us lost and confused when they are stripped from us.”
We see this play out in our everyday lives. You may have formed your identity and who you are based on past mistakes. But that’s not who you are. When the kids move out and you become an empty nester you may feel like you’ve lost your identity as you’ve dedicated so much time and effort to being a parent. Those who are divorced spend much time journeying to discover who they are without their partner. People who lost their jobs, whose businesses fail, and are unemployed may struggle with finding their identity when they can no longer say I’m the VP of this, CEO of that, or manager or employee of this company. We cling to negative identities as well like I’m a recovering addict, or I’m a spouse who cheated, or I’m a high school or college dropout, I’m a procrastinator, etc. But that’s not who you are.
I’m thankful we serve a God that looks at the heart and doesn’t base his love or forgiveness on our past or present deeds or choices. You are not your circumstances. You are not inferior. You are not inadequate. You are not your parent’s mistakes. You are not your past mistakes. You are not your relationship status. You’re not the number of followers you have on social media. You’re not the clothes you wear, the car you drive, or the house you live in. You are not your economic class or childhood upbringing. You are not your bank account. This may offend some but you are not your religious or political affiliation. Students, you are not your grades. I was at the bottom half of my law school class, and still became General Counsel of a multi-million-dollar company at the age of 32. When God has a destiny for you no grades, circumstances, or situations can stop it if you don’t quit. Who you are is so much more than those things, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.
So, let’s talk about who are you are. First, you are greater than you think. You are loved. You are worthy of love. You are destined for purpose and greatness. You are worthy of forgiveness. You, me, we are imperfectly amazing. You are more than enough. You are capable of any dream, purpose, or promise that God has laid before you. You are an individual. You are created to be amazing. You are more than your past failures. You are more than failed or broken relationships. You are more than the abandonment you’ve experienced. You are more than your illness. You are more than the abuse you’ve suffered. You are more than the child you lost or gave up. You are more than your sexual orientation. You are more than the habits you are struggling with. You are capable of greatness, victory, and triumph over the hurdles life has thrown you and over the strongholds that may be holding you captive. You are all these things because God loves you and made you in His image.
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